Say It Ain't So, Rocky

Sylvester Stallone. Who in their right mind wants to look like this?



He's a mutant. He looks like he is about to pop, or start to bleed from his eyes, or start to bleed from his eyes, then pop. He looks constantly constipated, and asphyxiated. Holy cats! He's gonna blow! If only he could manage to do this on camera it would create the only "must see" stuff of his career since Rambo (1, not 2).

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I remember making a comment about a year ago, maybe more, to a reporter about how "the Chinese swim team (in 1998) was busted by Australian customs officials with enough human growth hormone to make Sylvester Stallone tall".

Now Australian custom officials have busted Sylvester Stallone with enough human growth hormone to make that same 1998 Chinese team look clean. All I can say is keep it up AUS Customs! No time to celebrate with the World Championships around the corner. You've done more to keep this sport clean than FINA.



I have never used or even seen human growth hormone so I don't know about this for sure but isn't 48 vials a lot? I know that one vial of insulin lasts me more than a month to treat my type one diabetes. After the first 48 vials were confiscated at the airport they later found more vials at Sly's hotel room. It seems like a lot to me. Especially since he was only going to be in Australia for the premier of Rocky 6. And was Rocky 6 overlooked by the Academy or is it up for next years best picture?

Could someone please ask Massi Rosolino if 48 vials is a lot? Not by Italian or Chinese swimmer standards but by aging hack actor standards. To clarify: In 2000, more than 50 Italian Olympians-including Olympic gold medalist Massi Rosolino tested as much as 20 times the normal level of HGH. All were training at the Italian national training center. It's not like he ever tested positive with FINA or anything. He would know if 48 vials is a lot is all I'm saying.

According to the Chinese manufacturer of this "miracle drug" "It can treat diabetes or stunted growth in children, and is said to strengthen the immune system." There is no mention of reviving a hack's career in showbiz.

I've got to tell you, even if this drug did effectively treat diabetes I wouldn't take it if I ended up looking as bad as Sylvester Stallone. If that's what HGH is doing to his face what do his veins and organs look like? Kids, don't take HGH. You'll end up looking like this freak. Show me any masters swimmer at any age and I'll show you someone in better condition than Sylvester Stallone.

Why am I being so harsh? I mean, Sly is not cheating someone else out of opportunities by taking this stuff the way a cheating athlete does, right Massi?

My guess is that it probably has something to do with the fact that I was SLAMMED by an awful lot of people for wearing a red white and bleu "Rocky Balboa" robe before winning the gold medal at the 2004 Olympics. Say it ain't so, Rocky. Say it ain't so.

Gary Hall Jr.